Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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