I'll bet she douches with gravy.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
