i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
In America we eat man semen.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
