I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
