I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
