Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Can I color on your dick again?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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