people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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