Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize