What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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