I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
one might say we're banned from that church
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize