ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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