just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
