i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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