Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
