We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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