i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just found puke in my bra..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
