I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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