We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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