fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
