I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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