Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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