I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
