good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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