Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
