So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
