i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
