Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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