i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
