a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone came in the potted fern
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
