have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
