Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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