I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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