is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I skipped work to stalk him.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
