yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
