We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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