found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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