It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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