fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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