So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
