maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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