Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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