I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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