I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
