Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
