"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize