don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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