Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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