How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
