Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
high people should be assigned attendants
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
