I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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