HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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