You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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