so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
