he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.