but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?