Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize